This is the permanent version of a "Now" update from 2024-10-06:
Coming to you at the (hopefully) tail end of a bout with COVID-19. I’m trying a longer, more narrative format. Let me know what you think. 💖
👨🏼💻 Work
I’ve been at Tulip for five months now, which is hard to believe. Tulipians are super bright, highly collaborative, and not at all territorial, which is magical for people working in IT. Being technology experts is required for delivering great IT, but it isn’t sufficient. Great IT has to consider the people using it; the data they’re working with; and the implicit or explicit processes they are executing to deliver value. So you kind of have to get up in people’s business to be a good partner in designing, developing, and delivering technology solutions. So it’s really nice to work with people who are excited to work together (instead of giving “stay in your lane, IT Witch” energy.)
It’s been really nice to be able to offer my perspective or feedback and have it met with appreciation. Still, I have to remind myself that I’m still relatively new. Offering feedback and suggestions is best paired with a good relationship and an established level of trust. While the right culture can make it easier, there aren’t shortcuts. I messed up recently by scheduling an RCA (Root Cause Analysis) for a process that went off the rails. I think it would have been fine with engineers, but some of the colleagues who were part of the process were on business teams. Because the relationship and trust weren’t there and I suspect there wasn’t experience with blameless RCAs, I think the scheduled meeting landed as a “let’s publicly shame some people for messing up” instead of a “how can we learn from what happened and improve together”? I should have seen that coming, but here we are. 🤦🏼♂️. My hope is that vulnerability and sincerity can transform this mistake into a relationship building opportunity.
The other thing that’s been interesting to observe is my occasional moments of imposter syndrome. At edX, I had years to make mistakes, learn, and build relationships. I also had some fantastic mentors and managers who helped me to build my confidence and an amazing therapist who helped me to work through what was going on below the surface. So, when imposter syndrome shows up today, I’m good at spotting it and managing it. I catch the thought patterns, talk myself through the evidence to demonstrate why it’s not true, and go talk to my manager or another colleague when I’m not sure about how I’m performing. I have also noticed that Tulip has a culture of appreciation. It’s been helpful that colleagues tell me that they appreciate the viewpoints, skills, experience, and thoughtfulness that I’ve brought with me. It’s also really nice to see leaders be candid about what they don’t know – but they plan on learning together with others.
It is fun to start a new company and see how all of my past mistakes and successes turned into valuable experience that I can share. I think I chose the right company at the right stage in its maturity journey. There’s a good balance of things that I can bring and so, so many things to learn.
🧘🏼♂️ Exercise
I haven’t been able to get into the groove of a good workout routine. I think some of this has been related to a 9-5 work schedule that isn’t quite aligned with my biological sleep schedule of ~02:00-10:00, so I tend to be pretty exhausted at the end of the day. I’ve been pretty good about keeping up with Yoga because there’s a social aspect to it. And I get at least 30 minutes of cycling in each workday for my commute. It’s nice to have at least a little exercise built in to my day. One of the things that’s been on my mind is how eating and nutrition are likely getting in the way here. Matt and I have been ordering in a lot because we’re exhausted by the time we’re both home. I’ve also been prioritizing things like exercise and ceramics over things like grocery shopping. So, we’re trying out ordering groceries for delivery. It’s more expensive than going to the store, but hopefully will be less expensive than ordering out so much and will have the added benefit of eating healthier, which will in turn remove one of the things in the way of more regular gym time.
🎮 Video Gaming
Thanks to bout of COVID, I have had some time to play the new The Legend of Zelda: Echos of Wisdom. While this isn’t my favorite game so far, my queer inner child has been absolutely delighted to play as a magic-wielding princess. The “echo” mechanic is pretty fun. I do like being able to summon a bunch of monsters to fight on my behalf. My qualm is really with the echo management experience. Scrolling back and forth with over 30(?) echos (so far) is a little tiresome at times. Also, I can’t help it: it’s interesting that Zelda doesn’t do hand-to-hand combat in her princess form. She has to (basically) do drag in her swordfighter form in order to get her hands dirty. What’s with that?
🎧 Podcasts
I’ve been enjoying the third season of Dungeons and Daddies (a D&D podcast, not a BDSM podcast). The Lovecraft Horror / 50s post-war mash-up is really fun. I continue to appreciate how the cast is dedicated to making interesting, story-driven, character-driven choices rather than smart choices as they play. The risk is so much higher in the Call of Cthulu system, but I think the reward is too.
If we’ve talked over the last 6 months, you’ve almost definitely heard me go on about how much I love Normal Gossip. I’ll just lift the flavor text from their website:
Normal Gossip delivers juicy, strange, funny, and utterly banal gossip about people you’ll never know and never meet. Host Kelsey McKinney discusses reader-submitted comedic gossip with guests, diving into the lives and decisions of complete strangers. The second-hand truth really is stranger than fiction.
The stories are never mean-spirited and are always unhinged. They’re indispensable for long car trips or helping the time pass as you’re doing mindless chores you don’t care for.
📺 TV
Matt and I started a watch-through of Buffy: The Vampire Slayer a few months ago. He’s seen it before, but I could never get past the first two or three episodes on previous attempts. Since we made it a thing we did together (and he convinced me it would get better), I’m happy to report that we recently started the 6th season. I do wish that I’d gotten to it earlier than… checks notes… over 25 years since it started. But here we are. The first season was okay. Seasons two and three were great. Seasons four and beyond are totally off the rails. Should we keep going? Or is there a point where we should stop so I don’t ruin it for myself?
🏺 Ceramics
I just started my fourth semester at Mudflat, and I’m continuing wheel-throwing, this time in the Intermediate class. While I will miss being in Kate Kuligowski’s class, I’ve really been enjoying Steve Murphy’s class. It’s super valuable to learn from different people and get different kinds of feedback. I’ve started experimenting with making bowls with angled exteriors, which has been fun. The first one came out pretty well, but the celadon glaze I used didn’t quite break over the angles in the way I wanted. I’d like the toasty brown of the brown stoneware to peak through just a bit. Pictures to come!
🧶 Knitting
I recently got started on Jane Richmond’s Men’s Classic Raglan Pullover after some encouragement from another knitter friend. You can view my progress here on my Ravelry. I wanted to do a single color sweater that was less ambitious than the Icelandic wool sweaters I’ve knit previously. It has been a lot less complex! I just reached the point where I put the sleeve stiches on scrap yarn, cast on some new stiches for the under-sleeves, and am in the Knit Forever™ stage of the sweater where I can carry on a full conversation or listen to and half watch a TV show.
🌍 World Events
I’ve been feeling so helpless as I watch the government of Israel continue a system of apartheid and perpetrate a genocide in Palestine while expanding a war into Lebanon and beyond. And ashamed for not saying more or knowing what to say or how to say it or that I’ll get a fact wrong. And afraid that saying anything will look performative. And worried that saying the wrong thing will hurt people I care about. And even more ashamed for worrying about how saying anything will affect me and my security.
I want my elected officials to stop enabling the apartheid and genocide and crimes against humanity and the expansion of this war – a war that I worry the United States is so close to being pulled into directly. I don’t want my tax dollars to fund this. Criticizing the policies of the United States is not anti-American. Criticizing the policies of the State of Israel is not anti-Israeli or anti-Jewish. I want everyone to live in safety and security. No apartheid, no genocide, no bombs, no oppression, no terror, no hostages.
Ceasefire now.
If you’ve been getting involved in action that feels like it’s making a difference, please drop me a line – I’d love to learn more. In the meantime, I’m going to write my elected officials and find some relief funds to donate to (would also love suggestions).
Whether we’re acquaintances or good friends, if we know each other and something resonates with you (or hurt you), please please please reach out and let’s talk.
Update on 2024-10-07: I keep coming back to the phrase, “Many things can be true at once.” I hope it goes without saying, but I’ll say it explicitly: a lot of people were killed and many were taken hostage a year ago. Their friends and families and communities are scared for them – and for themselves. They still hurt. They still grieve. They still wonder if they’ll see those people again.
One can hold space and compassion for those affected by these acts of violence while being curious and critical of the systems that created the conditions for these acts of violence. One can seek accountability without seeking revenge. One can benefit from a system without being responsible for the system.
Many things can be true at once.
Permalink: 2024-10-06
You can check out an archive of my "Now" updates in the Now Archive.